integration
Integration is a bit of a buzz word these days and I feel it gets talked around but not a focused conversation on how to do it. So hopefully I can help still these muddy waters.
What is integration and how do you do it?
The first part is easy to answer. Integration this is the term for the process of bringing a piece of your shadow or unconscious behaviour into consciousness. Merging the part of yourself you have rejected with who you think you are. Bring these two pieces together allows you to become more whole and less fractured. Integration helps bring clarity to your world view which will allow you to see things more clearly and make better decisions not based on fear, but on your true desires.
Why is this important? When you are able to see your projections for what they are, you can take the power back and not take things so personally. Integration is all about reclaiming your energetic power. I know a lot of people who are so tired because they give all of their power away by acting out who they think they need to be. Keeping part of yourself locked up is exhausting, integration will free up some of the energy for you to put towards the things you want. It’s amazing how your life will change when you can use this energy for things that fill you up and instead of depleting you.
The second part of the question, how do we bring these 2 parts together? This is not an easy question to answer as integration is an individual process. We all have our own process and different shadow pieces may need varying amounts of time and commitment to fully bring them into consciousness. This makes the integration process hard to talk about on a collective scale so I will start with a personal example.
After doing some shadow work I realised I needed to get curious about my relationship with femininity. I never use to wear dresses, I had short hair, I was tough, and I saw emotions as weakness. I was limited by believing that I would be unlovable if I was seen as a girly girl. Once I realized these were all pieces of femininity that I had rejected I could work to integrate them. I started by doing a feminine themed collage. I cut out all sorts of pictures that looked “feminine”. Some were obvious like nicely dressed women, jewelry, goddesses, and flowers. Others were less obvious; like a country lane in the fall, a large cobra, and a Victorian streetscape.
When you sit down and really force yourself to questions what is femininity, or any other shadow piece, you begin to see all of its parts, not just the narrow view your ego fixates on and that you fear. By looking at femininity with an awareness mind I was able to see it was more than just the girly girl. After doing some Google searches I was able to consciously see the full range of powerful feminine women like Grace Jones, Dolly Parton, Pink, the maiden, mother, and crone and other wise women archetypes. There are so many powerful feminine archetypes not just the girly girl that I was fearful of. This shift has allowed me to figure out how I can show up in my authentic feminine way that feels comfortable to me and not forced or fake.
Steps to integration
1. Identify a shadow or unconscious pieces you want to integrate
2. Sit with the discomfort, welcome in that fear and with it, all the potential it brings
3. Do something to help solidify the conscious shift. Doesn’t matter what, but you have to do something!
Integration Actions
Like I said before this is a personal process so not everything will work for you and not every shadow will need to be integrated the same way. You will need to take different actions to integrate anger vs. getting in touch with your inner child. There are lots of things you can do the key is to listen to your inner voice to hear what it wants you to do. Try not to listen to your mind/ego. You cannot force integration or logically plan it. You need to allow it to come through you and unfold naturally. Yes, this can be very painful and frustrating process! Working with the unconscious is not as straight forward as a simple to-do list. The unconscious is on its own time and will not be rushed along.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Journaling. Sit with the feeling and journal about it – don’t get caught up in all the what ifs. Sit with it, watch it, explore it, ask it what it needs to feel safe. Reassure it that it will be ok.
Visualization. There are visualizations that target specific feelings. I have one on anger and others that walk you through sitting with feeling and how to examine them.
Fantasize – what would be possible if I was selfish? Really go over the top in a positive way and tune into how that feels in your body, about you saying no to helping someone you don’t actually want to help. About you wearing the fancy dress, about acting out that shadow trait. Watch the ego have a panic attack but don’t buy into it, let it know it is ok, it is safe but it is not needed right now.
Get Creative: draw, paint, collage, dance, carve, write poetry, etc. The unconscious works in symbols so being creative can really help communicate with the unconscious. You might be surprised what come up when you are focused on a feeling while creating. Let go of the need to have a goal and perfection. Create like a child; messy, carefree, and unapologetic play.
Do the thing that scares you – wear the dress, order a wild fruit drink instead of a beer, set a boundary, look into skydiving, sign up for a class, allow yourself to have the real experience, maybe being rejected, instead of just playing it out in your head.
Keep checking up on it. Don’t just think of it once and assume its integrated keep going back to see what else is there. Some pieces take a long time to integrate. Remember your ego pushed this away for a reason and it will fight you every step of the way.
Identify the fear, welcome it in, and act on it. It will be scary at first but keep doing it. Journal about the fear and how it changes as you integrate this missing part of yourself. Maybe you start to set boundaries and say no more often, do you feel more comfortable and less pain in your body every time? Do people treat you differently? These types of questions help bring awareness to the shift.
Happy integrating!
Nikki